Mexico is Going to Build a Ladder:  A Beautiful Ladder 

And the Gringos are Going to Pay for It

Rumor has it newly-elected Mexican President Lopez Obrador (AMLO) is negotiating an unprecedented deal between (a) drug cartel lords, (b) US businesses in the roofing, hotel, construction, and meatpacking industries, and (c) several organizations representing millions of drug-addicted Americans, to cooperate in the building of a giant ladder, expandable through the wonders of technology to the highest heights, so that business can continue normally in spite of the presence of a Trump wall between the US and Mexico.

Insiders who insist on anonymity say the deal consists of the following elements:

1.  Mexican experts calculate the project will cost about $5 billion.  Corporate America, particularly those operating in the Phoenix-Las Vegas corridor, are said to be taking up collections for the Ladder so they can continue to Make America Great Again with low wages and a motivated workforce.  An anonymous source said pledges are already nearing the $3 Billion level after only three weeks of effort since the Trump Government Shutdown began.  The pledge drive is said to be spearheaded by corporate executives at Tysons Chickens and is especially popular in the Phoenix area.

2.  President Lopez Obrador expects that the Ladder of Gringo Greatness (LOGG) will face significant pushback from the Trump Base, except for those among his followers who rely on deliveries of Mexican drugs.  In order to lessen this potential pushback, AMLO is said to be in negotiations with the most reliable drug cartel lords in Mexico to agree to a shutdown in the delivery of drugs to America.  No more just-in-time deliveries through the normal ports of entry and tunnels.  He believes this will create a health crisis in the US, as addicts seek medical attention for withdrawal symptoms, puting pressure on the Trump-weakened health care system--enough, he believes, to influence the votes of the most obsequious Trump supporters in Congress.

3.  It is believed that the major organizations representing addicted Americans are so concerned about a possible shutdown in shipments that they will join in with corporate America to help fund the campaign with millions of small donations.

A female hotel chambermaid, "Fantasia," contacted by a Fake News network, said of the rumored project:  "Everyone wins.  Trump can have his wall.  The government can reopen again, Corporate America can still have cheap labor, commerce will flourish, and Mexicans can still get the jobs."